The adventures of word man.

The adventures of word man. Literacy is in a parlous state. Whether the causes lie in oureducational system, the influences of the mass media, the jargon andinformality of e-mail, or some other factors, I will leave to others todetermine. Even as language standards decline, they merit a spirited defense.Today, errors of usage, grammar, and spelling proliferate in bothwritten and spoken communication, and cry out for correction. But is itwise to point out such solecisms, especially when they are committed bystrangers? The consequences can't always be predicted. Following are three of my own experiences in this well-intended ifquixotic quix��ot��ic? also quix��ot��i��caladj.1. Caught up in the romance of noble deeds and the pursuit of unreachable goals; idealistic without regard to practicality.2. endeavor, exactly as they happened. Well, almost. Episode #1: The Clueless clue��less?adj.Lacking understanding or knowledge.cluelessAdjectiveSlang helpless or stupidAdj. 1. Customer Founded 80 years ago, Arthur Brown is a stationery and art supplystore in midtown Manhattan. One day while in that venerable establishment, I overheard a youngwoman talking to an employee. "I want to paint on material," she said. "What kind of material?" asked the salesman. The woman was flustered flus��ter?tr. & intr.v. flus��tered, flus��ter��ing, flus��tersTo make or become nervous or upset.n.A state of agitation, confusion, or excitement. and flummoxed. "You know," shesputtered. "Material!" My attention was piqued. "This looks like a job for ...Word-Man!" After rapidly changing from mufti into my superhero su��per��he��ro?n. pl. su��per��he��roesA figure, especially in a comic strip or cartoon, endowed with superhuman powers and usually portrayed as fighting evil or crime. costume, I valiantly intervened. "Excuse me, what I believe the young lady wants to do is painton fabric." The woman's relief was palpable. "Yeah! That's it!Like he said! Whatever!" "My work here is done," I proclaimed. "I must now beoff to help others in linguistic distress." Neither the customer nor the salesman offered any expression ofgratitude. But as I departed, I imagined them wondering, "Say, whowas that unmasked man anyway? We never had a chance to thankhim...." Some people scoff at the concept of proper English, and thelegitimacy of any rules. A common objection: "What does it matteras long as the meaning is understood?" The answer is that bad usage often fails to communicate, resultingin ambiguity, confusion, or lack of clarity, as the above anecdotedemonstrates. Moreover, social conventions and civilized discourse stillmatter. A series of articles in The Wall Street Journal reported thatpoor speech habits can damage an executive's career prospects. Lamentations on the deterioration of English as well as attempts topreserve its purity date back at least to Daniel Defoe in 1697. JacquesBarzun and Allen Walker Read took opposing sides in the"prescriptivism prescriptivismIn metaethics, the view that moral judgments are prescriptions and therefore have the logical form of imperatives. Prescriptivism was first advocated by Richard M. Hare (born 1919) in The Language of Morals (1952). vs. permissivism" battle. Two recent booksprove that the debate is far from over. John McWhorter bemoans decliningstandards while fellow linguist David Crystal celebrates the infinitevariety of language and rejects the idea of "correct English." Here is another true story. Episode #2: The Mistaken Menu As I walked by a restaurant in my neighborhood, an employee stoodon the sidewalk, handing out menus to attract patrons. I took one,walked a few paces, then stopped to examine it. "Do you haft kvestion?" asked the hawker. Outdoors, it was impractical to switch to my impressive Word Manoutfit. Instead, I drew a pen from my pocket, scribbled on the menu, andhanded it back. "No, just a correction." The words prix fixe had been rendered as "prix fix." Thisis surely one of the most frequent misspellings. I've also seensuch creative variants as "price fix" and "pricefixed." But this typo typo - typographical error is mystifying mys��ti��fy?tr.v. mys��ti��fied, mys��ti��fy��ing, mys��ti��fies1. To confuse or puzzle mentally. See Synonyms at puzzle.2. To make obscure or mysterious. . Many restaurants are French orserve French dishes. So it's not unreasonable to expect proprietorsto know the right spelling. The befuddled individual just stared silently at the helpfulsuggestion. Once again, my daring and heroic feat received norecognition. But that doleful dole��ful?adj.1. Filled with or expressing grief; mournful. See Synonyms at sad.2. Causing grief: a doleful loss. situation was soon to change.... Of course, the motivations of those who engage in this activity arenot entirely altruistic. Showing off our hard-won knowledge provides egogratification and fun. As my recreational linguist colleague Gary Hallock wryly observes,"It allows us to feel slightly superior and smug for a while--untilthe horrible and inevitable moment when our own shortcomings areembarrassingly revealed." On that cautionary note, I will recount my final tale of publicpedantry PedantryBlimber, Cornelia“dry and sandy with working in the graves of deceased languages.” [Br. Lit.: Dombey and Son]Casaubon, Edwarddull pedant; dreary scholar who marries Dorothea. [Br. Lit. . Episode #3: The Esthetic Encounter Last year, the Metropolitan Museum of Art announced a specialexhibition of the Hudson River School Hudson River school,group of American landscape painters, working from 1825 to 1875. The 19th-century romantic movements of England, Germany, and France were introduced to the United States by such writers as Washington Irving and James Fenimore Cooper. . This group of 19th centurypainters favored romantic and dreamlike landscapes. I was eager to seethe show but procrastinated, finally managing to attend on the closingday. As I strolled through the gallery, I encountered a couple intentlystudying the wall label describing a work. "Hmm," the manremarked to his wife. "Crepuscular crepuscularactive at twilight or just before dawn; said of animals or birds. . I don't know Don't know (DK, DKed)"Don't know the trade." A Street expression used whenever one party lacks knowledge of a trade or receives conflicting instructions from the other party. what thatmeans." The temptation was irresistible. Once again, Word Man to therescue! Calling upon my powers of super-speed, I didn't miss abeat. "Twilight," I said. "Oh!" he responded, surprised but pleased. "Thankyou!" And so we arrive at a happy ending. For those of us who championthe English language, it's gratifying grat��i��fy?tr.v. grat��i��fied, grat��i��fy��ing, grat��i��fies1. To please or satisfy: His achievement gratified his father.See Synonyms at please.2. to know that our efforts donot always go unappreciated. Tune in again for more thrill-packed episodes in the amazingAdventures of Word Man! We now return you to your local station. DON HAUPTMAN New York New York, state, United StatesNew York,Middle Atlantic state of the United States. It is bordered by Vermont, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and the Atlantic Ocean (E), New Jersey and Pennsylvania (S), Lakes Erie and Ontario and the Canadian province of , New York donhauptman@nyc.rr.com